lovebanshee

Picture this: Jimmy/Castiel as a microcosm of Sam's entire storyline. The wife and daughter are to Jimmy as Dean is to Sam-- family, basically. I could not stop imagining during the entire episode that it was Sam (or rather, a younger Sam) who could have been speaking Jimmy's lines sometimes. And it would have made sense.

- Jimmy prays in the begining of the ep but doesn't in the end after he determines that what he was praying to wasn't as cracked up as he made it out to be before. Sam's meeting of the angels (which could extend to the entire apocalypse, Heaven/Hell dealio) was the same for him.
- In Jimmy, there is Sam's continuing hope for a normal life, until he was thrust into believing differently later on in episode (a year later, technically), much like Sam was at the end of S3. Ironically enough, he was told by Sam in this episde that in this hunter's life there's no such thing as normal and there's no going back and you can't be with your with his connections (extext) for fear of putting them in danger.

Jimmy: I know this is hard to understand, but he chose me. He said I was special, it was in my blood.
Amelia: What does that mean, that it's in your blood?
J: He didn't say, he just said that God has chosen me for a higher purpose.
A: To do what?
J: It's God's will... not really my place to question.

- In. His. Blood. I don't know if I can make this comparison any clearer.

J: This is a blessing. This is the most important thing that ever happened to me.
A: I thought we were the most important thing to ever happen to you. Jimmy, you're scaring me. If you won't take your pills and you won't get help, [I'll leave].

- Jimmy's 'blessing' contrasted with Sam's 'curse'.
- Jimmy says it's the most important thing to have happened to him; not valubled, treasured, but... important. Which we can most definitely relate with the demon blood Sam got as a baby as well as the continuation of this little hobby of his.
- Amelia's answer = How Dean may see it. He certainly HAS been afraid of what's been hapening to his brother since S2, and you can't argue that family is the most important thing to him as well.

J: I'm about to loose my family here.

- 'About to loose' vs 'I've already lost them' after Dean died.

A: We thought you were dead.
J: I was in a psych clinic.

- Dean comes back to 'earth' not knowing if Lilith killed his brother after he got ripped to shreds. EVEN THAT sort of comparison can be found in here.
- So 'Psych Clinic' is another word for a drunk, practically suicidal, and utterly broken Sam while Dean was in Hell?

This next one gets to me like crazy. This speech is what convinces me that this connection was meant to be made:
J: I was confused, Amelia. I was completely delusional. And I thought God was calling me to something and I thought it was important. And I was wrong. I was such an idiot. Heaven, Hell, none of that matters. The only thing that's important to me is [my family]. And I can't undo what I've done. But I just want to come home again.
A: I don't know if I can do that. Not yet.

- This is his reaction to finding out what he's been praying to has been more or less... crap. Same as Sam, who now is participating in very questionable activities in order to be strong enough to protect his family, and to end this Heaven/Hell feud by killing Lilith.
- But I just want to come home again. "I just want us to be brothers again." Sound familiar?
- I'm saying we're we're supposed to take that as Dean's reaction about all Sam's done over the course of this season. Plus, her last two words actually give me some HOPE for once in this episode. It sells me on the fact that even after all this, there will be some sort of reconciliation next season between the brothers, there will HAVE to be. Just... not yet.

When Jimmy sits down for dinner with his family (non-flashback-y), in an almost exact reflection of the first dinner scene, you can still see the scars that are there now from his year away; the innocence that is gone from the first time we saw the similar scene.  Jimmy prayed before eating. He still lost (some of?)  his faith along the way and if we're to see him as some sort of microcosm of Sam's journey, and he isn't praying anymore because he knows how different the angels were from his innitial thought and he knows the truth, the innocence of what he was praying to so hard is shattered. It was all practically an illusion, a deusion, like he said. Seeing even a very devout man loosing that kind of faith breaks my heart expecially when we know Sam prayed and found out the exact same thing Jimmy just did.

Roger: What the hell happened to you?
J: Long story... but it's over.
R: Yeah?
J: I'm good.

- He says it's over when its most certainly NOT, since seconds after he says that, a demon threatens his family. Wanting for it all to be 'over' is something Sam's really striving for, and the reason he seems to be slipping.

R: Buddy. You scared the hell out of a lot of people.
J: I know, I know.
R: So really, what happened?
J: Honestly, worst year of my life and you wouldn't believe a word of it, but it's all ok now. I swear.

- Almost a reflection of Dean asking what happened with Sam while he was in Hell.
- STILL trying to convince himelf everything's been ok since Dean's been back (also with delusions about the demon blood which we now know has some major side effects).
- The wife's disbelief over his claims that there's a demon, and how they have to fight... at all. Everything reflects our boys fighting these days. :(

Sam to Jimmy: I'm just telling him the truth, Dean. Someone has to.

- Oh, the tradgedy! All the lost innocence! It's almost like he was giving that speech to his younger self. And it hurt.

A: So. I pretty much owe you the biggest apology ever.
J: No you don't.
A: Yes, I do. I'm so sorry, Jimmy. And I will never, ever forgive you for walking out that door.
J: Well, you did what any rational person would have done. Hell, I thought I was crazy half the time.

- If this last line isn't something Sam himself has said already... He's scared of what he's doing, what he might be turning into. Even said so in this ep.

A: For how long?
J: We'll cross that bridge when we'll get there.
A: But we're family.
J: They will kill you, Amelia. And they'll kill Claire. You just have to get as far away from me as you can.

- Family = important. That is all.

J: Castiel, you son of a bitch! I gave you everything you asked me to give, I gave you more! This is the thanks I get? Is this what you do? It's your Heaven? ...Typical.

- When you find out this is what you've been praying to the whole time and you feel it's completely given up on you... well do I need to add that this is what I imagine Sam's head is screaming everytime the angels behave like, well, like that? Like angels?

J: No-- Claire. Castiel, please. You need to take me. Take me, please.

- The willingnes to carry it all on his own shoulders instead of having to let his family carry the burden is one of the big reasons I think Sam feels the need to continue down his path (shown in TMaTEoTB). He wants to spare Dean from having to do [whatever he has to do] on his own.

I found it fascinating that the angels (either choose to, or have to) prep their hosts for possesion. Theorizing that Lucifer will rise and might be possessing some poor bastard, and Lucy himself USED to be an angel... well, who have we seen that is possibly being manipulated into possibly being a host for evil incarnate in the possible apocalypse? I don't feel like Sam should be the one Lucifer inhabits (I adore the fact  that everything ANYbody does in this show is because of choice, and taking that away from a character that seems to be making some very intresting morally gray choices lately, I feel like it would just be a waste to possess him) but it doesn't seem THAT far off the wall anymore.

I'm going to say that this post is the reason they put such an angel-heavy episode so close to the end of the season. It shows how Sam's sunk to where he is now and WHY. Most importantly, the WHY. I like to think the angel plot-line was inserted so hugely in this ep because of something remotely close to my crazy train of thinking because it helps me deal with the darker (like really dark) side of what Sam appears to be doing, especially in this ep.

Wow, I really hope this sounds as good and as organized as it all was in my head... It certainly turned out longer than I intended!